Crocheting Motivation

I have found some motivation to crochet and try and sell my creations again. I have discovered that my hand hurts while I crochet and my fingers seems stiff. Gonna have to check into that. Crocheted some more soap bags and a mushroom. Nubby is my favorite so far. He has a nub for an arm and only one eye.

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He loves me, He loves me not

I sit and wonder where I am.
Where did I go?
I closed my eyes and dreamt of stars and rainbow of colours.
The vibrant reds,blues, and yellows seem so beautiful.
How did i not see it before?
I can hear voices but no faces appear.
Trees are dancing in the light pink breeze, the grass is so green.
Who’s yelling my name, its peaceful here Idon’t want to leave.
Then heavy-ness becomes my body.
I have flashes of Him, the red is dripping artfuly from his hand.
Then the bright white is everywhere, the voices are louder and more clear.
What do they want with me?
I open my eyes and see the tubes coming out, the IV in my arm.
I thought he cared, I thought he loved me, why put me here?

Fighting my Demon

He has no eyes, but can see everything.
Has claws to scratch at my flesh.
Sharp teeth to eat the good thoughts away.
He lurks in the back of my mind.
He tells me I’m not good enough.
Can’t eat till everything is done.
Takes my strength, my will to live.
‘Kill yourself’ he says.
‘It’ll make everything better.
Won’t be tired, stressed, hngry or bother to anyone.’
The blackness that is his mouth sucks all the engery in and spits out negativity.
I’m his, all his.
I’m not alone at all cause i have him with me always.
I’m not good enough for anyone but him.
My body is thin and bones, no meat.
My face is oily, dirty and grossly tanned just like my arms.
God or whatever can’t save my life from him, I must continue to struggle and fight him.
Even if it kills me…

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Poem

My eyes they swell.
For they do not want to see this hell
How I can be, if Im nothing at all?
Can you hear me?
Do you listen and search when you hear the call?
Just a waste nothing more.
My whole life I’ve heard it all before.
I am a disappointment to them,
I wanted to shine bright like a star in your eyes.
But it comes to this,
No happy ending for me.
Just bury me now.
Go on with your life at ease…

10 Things I See Around Me

I’m sitting here and just trying to get inspired..

1-Munster

2- ceiling fan spinning

3- Books

4- our rescued mouse

5- closet full of clothes

6- Ties, scarves, hats hanging from the curtain rod

7- The wind blowing the trees, from my window

8- 3 bows hanging on the wall

9- a movie being played.

10- These beautiful pictures

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Stormy Night

Sitting down and looking through the window,  the wind blows violently.  What made the wind so angry?  How can we calm her down? Trash cans are knocked over, blowing trash everywhere.  Then it starts to drip. Is she crying now?  Violent winds and rains…  She’s hurt!  Oh,  how the pain she must feel. Violent strom with water knee deep. Who is she mad with? 

Okay, okay

Well I’ve gone for awhile. A lot has been going on. I haven’t created anything lately, I haven’t had it in me. I will be starting back up again this week. I want to crochet some stuff for the shop and for Xmas. 

Munster drew Finn

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Finn is from Adventure Time.

Just some doodles

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Last night around 1-130 I got inspired to draw this. Just a gurl (I want to make this outfit) and some balloons. Oh yeah, and some stick figure little people hanging out jumping off mushrooms, kicking a ball, and relaxing near a pond. Enjoi. 🙂

A poem

I would stand there and believe
That somewhere within those eye is the truth
Can’t you see me?
Dancing around like a fool
Doing back flips to grab attention from you
But all the lies, oh all the lies
They come pouring out like water from a fall
So I stand there
Stand there and hope with it all