Moving to Portland and Other Stuff.

           Okay, so I’ve decided that Portland, Oregon is the place for me. I can transfer work there and it seems a perfect fit for me and especially my son. 🙂 I can’t wait to move there. I haven’t visited so I’m kinda going in blind.

           So let’s see. I bought a skirt at the goodwill and its cute as heck. I had a week off of work cause I had a slight breakdown and then I had an episode of vertigo. Went to the hospital and got some pills if it happens again. My knee got twisted about a month ago and now I have a brace on it. For the next 2 weeks I have to take 2 naproxen and the ice my knee at night. I have to go get an x-ray to make sure there’s no fracture.

My stress levels have been up and cause panic attacks like crazy. I’ll be sitting there and just be overcome by anxiety. I’ve been taking a pill for that lately since walking and riding my bike is a no for day to day.

Now coming up with the money to move has been the biggest stress factor this month. I’m having yard sales and crocheting, but still not any luck with it.

Well, I need to clean and also crochet some little girl bags to sell. Hopefully I can sell enough or come into some money somehow to move.

Anyone have any moving or selling tips for me it would be much appreciated.

Until next time.

I feel it Starting Again

So, yesterday was an awful day. I couldn’t get out of bed and had no appetite. Was struggling with myself all day. This morning I wake up and I’m filled with anxiety. I’ve worked so hard to overcome goraphobia and social anxiety. But I feel it starting again. My head is filled with all those thoughts and my body is shaking. I want to take Munster to the library to see a magic show, but i don’t know if I can make it.

I don’t have an appetite again today. I feel sick and i want to throw up since this morning. I don’t want to be like this. I want to be normal. Well as normal as I ever was 🙂 hehe. I will try and take Munster to the library and hopefully i can stay 1+ hours so he can see the show and check out some books.

I remember going to the doctor and just being told more pills more pills! They made me sick, drunk like and slipping in and out of consciousness. Therapist did nothing for me my whole life.

I just want to be BETTER.
I just want to be NORMAL.
I want to HAPPY.
I want to feel SANE.
I want to FREE.
Most of all I want to be MYSELF.

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How i feel